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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27748381">Self Discovery and Pride Flags</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peridaniel/pseuds/Peridaniel'>Peridaniel</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Owl House (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Coming Out, Gender Disaster in Denial Eda Clawthorne, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Luz Noceda, Other, Self-Acceptance, Self-Reflection, Trans Character, Trans Male Amity Blight, Trans Male Character, eda realizes that she aint cis, everyone is supportive of everyone, lumity is there far in the background but it wasn't worth tagging, luz and amity come out as trans</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:22:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,107</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27748381</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peridaniel/pseuds/Peridaniel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Luz comes out as nonbinary, and Amity comes out as a trans guy. Obviously, Eda is supportive, but it also leads to some questioning.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>90</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Self Discovery and Pride Flags</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Been coming up on five years since my Great Trans Awakening™ and, since I haven't written any trans related fanfic in a while, figured I'd commemorate this by writing something like what said awakening was like for me, using, of course, my current hyperfixation character from my current hyperfixation show to do it. It actually was originally gonna be an AU of sorts with young Eda coming out as trans to Lilith, but I figured it'd be more interesting to set it in the present day and see an older Eda have this awakening. </p>
<p>enby luz and ftm amity thrown in as a treat, and as an inciting event</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Hey, Eda. Um, I need to talk to you about something."  </p>
<p>The words that came out of Luz's mouth seemed to carry an attempt at a casual tone, but Eda could easily pick up the hesitation underneath it. She turned her head to her apprentice, who was standing by the couch with her hands behind her back, looking away from her. </p>
<p>A smile fell over Eda's face. "Come on, I know that look. What kinda trouble did you get into? You don't have to get all bashful about it." </p>
<p>Luz looked at her mentor for a moment, but quickly turned back away. "I didn't get into any trouble. That's not what I need to talk to you about." </p>
<p>Eda raised an eyebrow. She didn't know whether to feel worried or simply surprised. Did Luz find a new spell she wanted to learn? <i>No, she wouldn't get anxious over that. She'd be sprinting in here and talking a mile a minute about that.</i> But then, what was going on? Was something bad happening to her or the house? Worry sunk in more. </p>
<p>"Sit down, kid," she said, patting the spot on the couch next to her. "What's up?" </p>
<p>Luz hesitantly sat next to Eda on the couch, crouching down and putting her arms over her knees. After taking a few breaths and playing with her hands, she turned to Eda and looked in her eyes. </p>
<p>"Eda, I-" </p>
<p>"Eda, Luz!" King stomped into the living room with an empty chip bag in his hand. "We're all out of chips and I can't reach the shelf with the other snackies." </p>
<p>"Just a minute, King," Eda responded sternly with a wave of her hand. "Luz has to tell me something." </p>
<p>"Ooh, is it her deepest, darkest secret?" King asked, his eyes widening. "I wanna know, too!" </p>
<p>Before Eda could say anything, Luz smiled and giggled. "Well, I wouldn't call it my <i>deepest, darkest</i> secret, but it is something I haven't told either of you, or anyone else, for that matter. And I think you should probably know, too, King." </p>
<p>King squealed in excitement as Luz picked him up set him on the couch. After he was put down, he laid on his tummy, resting his elbows on Luz's leg and his head in his hands, staring at Luz with wide eyes. </p>
<p>"Go on, now, don't be shy," he said. "Tell us your secret!" </p>
<p>"Yea, kiddo." Eda flashed her apprentice a smile. "No need to be scared." </p>
<p>"Thanks, guys." Luz smiled back and exhaled deeply from her nose. "I guess it probably won't be a big deal to you guys, anyway. I mean, with all the magic and demons and skin-eating fairies, for all I know, this could be something normal to you." </p>
<p>She let out a laugh. "But anyway, back to the point. I'm nonbinary." </p>
<p>King tilted his head. "Weh?" </p>
<p>"Nonbinary?" asked Eda. "What's that?" </p>
<p>Luz's smile faltered and she looked away. "Oh, um... Basically, even though I have the body you would usually see on a girl, I'm not a girl. But I'm not a boy, either. It's a pretty broad term that covers a lot of different things, but for me, it means I'm a mix of both boy and girl, but I'm not really either at all." She- or they?- looked back at Eda with a much more awkward smile. "Does... that make any sense?" </p>
<p>King rolled his eyes and sat up. "Is that all? I was expecting something <i>way</i> bigger than that." </p>
<p>Eda gave him a look and rolled her eyes with a smile before turning back to Luz. "To be honest, I don't really get it. But whatever, it's who you are, not who I am. And besides, you're right. It isn't really unusual here. I've seen people who are neither, people who are both, people who were told they were one at birth but realized somewhere along the line that they were the other... Sure, some people are jerks about it, but those of us with half a brain know that it's none of our dang business and it doesn't hurt anybody." </p>
<p>"Yea," said King. "What could be better than being king <i>and</i> queen?" He narrowed his eyes and added, "Not that you can be either of those things. I'm King." </p>
<p>Luz laughed and patted his head. "Of course, King. I'd never steal your thunder." Turning back to Eda, they said, "And thanks." </p>
<p>"No problem," responded Eda. "So, I haven't met too many people who are 'nonbinary,' as you call it, but I do know that they often start going by a different name. Anything different you want me to call you?" </p>
<p>Her apprentice shook their head. "Luz is fine. And you can keep using she/her pronouns on me, too. Or they/them, or he/him. I don't really mind any of them." </p>
<p>"Alright, alright," Eda said with a nod. "Glad you told us, kid." </p>
<p>"Any other more interesting secrets you wanna tell us?" asked King. </p>
<p>Luz laughed. "Nah. I think that's all." They got up off the couch and headed to the door. "Anyway, I told Amity I'd meet her at the park." </p>
<p>"Going on a date, huh?" Eda smirked. </p>
<p>Luz blushed and looked at the floor. "Well, I was just gonna show her some of my Azura fanart and tell her what I just told you, but heh... if she wants it to be..." </p>
<p>After an awkward chuckle, he slipped out the door. Eda watched him leave with a fond smile. </p>
<p>"That kid is so oblivious," she said with a laugh and snort. "Of course that little blushing tomato would want it to be a date." </p>
<p>"I ship it," King said. "Now, can you get some more snackies for me?" </p>
<p>Eda groaned and got up, walking towards the kitchen followed by a squeeing King. "We really need to get you a ladder." </p>
<p>As she went towards the cabinet and pulled out a bag of King's favorite candy, she thought more about what Luz had told her. </p>
<p>She knew about the people who weren't male or female, or who were a mix of the two, or who switched between the two, and never even thought of looking down upon those people in any way. But still, she didn't understand what made them that way. </p>
<p>She never felt female. There were many moments when she was younger when she wished she was a boy. And there was something that always felt strange about the way her body developed as she went through puberty. </p>
<p>But that was normal, and with stupid, sexist jerks out there, there were probably a lot of women who wished they were men. And she loved to wear dresses and feminine clothing, even if she did feel uncomfortable with the way they went tight around her chest. </p>
<p>She looked down at her chest, and then at her wide hips pushing through the dress, feeling a strikingly familiar sense of <i>strangeness</i> set in. </p>
<p><i>Ah, no woman actually likes her own feminine traits,</i> she thought. <i>I've had creeps stare at mine all the time, how could I? Doesn't make me any less of a lady.</i></p>
<hr/>
<p>Eda was pouring herself a mug of apple blood when she heard Luz's exuberant "I'm home!" echo from the front door. When she filled her mug up and put the apple blood back where it belonged, she went to the living room to greet her apprentice. They were setting their backpack down with their usual casual grin as another person clad in a black beanie followed them in and closed the door. </p>
<p>For a moment, Eda couldn't quite recognize who the other person was, but as she looked at their face, she recognized their yellow eyes as the same ones that always gave mushy looks to Luz. </p>
<p>"Oh, and I brought Amity," Luz said, confirming who the new guest was. "We paired up for a group project for our 'Abominations in Action' class. We have to make two abominations and have them work together to perform a simple task. Heh, of course, I don't quite know how to <i>make</i> abominations yet, but I have been working with Amity's a lot and I think I can still train one to work with one that Amity trains so it'll basically be the same as if I made one." </p>
<p>"Pfff, group projects are prime opportunities to slack off and leave the work to everyone else," Eda responded. Luz frowned, but before she could respond, Eda raised her hand to stop her. "Kidding, kidding. I know that's not you. Besides, ordering around abominations is fun. That was my favorite track to sneak into lessons from when I was your age." </p>
<p>Luz smiled and jogged towards the stairs, but quickly halted in his tracks and ran back to where Eda and Amity were. "Oh, I almost forgot! Amity, do you wanna change into your new clothes while you're here?" </p>
<p>"Oh, right!" responded Amity. She took her beanie off and Eda saw that her hair was tied back- all of it, not just the bangs like she usually had it, which showed the shaved part on the back of her head. "Did you bring it?" </p>
<p>"I wouldn't forget it," Luz answered, opening up their backpack. </p>
<p>"New clothes?" Eda questioned, raising an eyebrow. </p>
<p>"Ohhh, I forgot to tell you what happened when we were in the park yesterday!" said Luz, looking at Eda with wide eyes. "Okay, so, I told Amity about the whole nonbinary thing, and-" </p>
<p>"It gave me the confidence to tell them," Amity finished Luz's sentence, "that I'm actually a boy. So they helped me shop for new clothes. Y'know, ones that are more masculine." </p>
<p>"Oh," Eda said with a nod. "Good on you, kid. Does anybody else know?" </p>
<p>"We both came out to Willow and Gus today at school," explained Luz. "They were both super cool with it." </p>
<p>"I told my brother and sister, too," Amity added. "They were also cool with it, but all three of us agreed that our parents might not be, and I am not taking that chance right now. So for now, I'm just wearing the guy's clothes we bought when I'm away from home or school, and wearing my hair a little differently since I haven't quite gotten the courage to cut it yet." </p>
<p>"Well, you can wear whatever you want here," Eda said. "Seriously, whatever you want. Sometimes Luz walks around in his otter onesie, or one of their horrible tacky sweaters." </p>
<p>"Hey, I like their horrible tacky sweaters!" King entered the room wearing a wildly oversized sweater of his own, a blue and yellow striped one with a picture of a snowman with sunglasses on the front of it and <i>I'M THE COOLEST</i> written above it in red. "They're clearly the pinnacle of fashion!" </p>
<p>Luz put her hands against her cheeks and her eyes widened. "And don't you look just adorable in them?" they asked in a baby voice. </p>
<p>"Alright, kid, you better get the boy changed-" Eda glanced at Amity, who bit his lip to unsuccessfully stifle a dorky smile- "and get your work done before King's adorableness raises your blood sugar levels." </p>
<p>"Aye aye, captain!" Luz saluted Eda and ran back through the living room towards the stairs, Amity following soon after. </p>
<p>"Aw, kid looked so happy when I called him a boy," Eda said, folding her arms with a fond smile on her face after the two were up the stairs and out of earshot. "Reminds me how stupid it is that there are still jerks out there that don't accept it." </p>
<p>Suddenly, the sound of a window breaking alerted Eda and King to Hooty smashing through it. <i>"I'm</i> happy when people call <i>me</i> a boy, too! It makes me feel like a person!" </p>
<p>Eda looked at him for a moment before saying, "Well, in all the time you've been around, I've never really considered you anything different. I don't think so, anyway." </p>
<p>"You called me a horrifying freak of nature at first." Hooty still smiled despite what he was saying. "Hoot hoot!" </p>
<p>"You still are a horrifying freak of nature," King said back, crossing his arms and glaring at Hooty. </p>
<p>"Yea, but anyone, boy, girl, or whatever, can be that," said Eda. "And you're... a male horrifying freak of nature, I think." </p>
<p>"Hoot hoot, sounds about right," responded Hooty. "Anyway, I'm gonna go find some flies to eat! Bye!" Hooty slid back through the hole in the window he created, and Eda turned her attention to King. </p>
<p>"What about you, King?" she asked. "I mean, 'king' is a man's term, and we always call you 'he,' but Luz is okay with being called 'he,' too, even though he's not really a guy. And 'she,' even though she's not really a girl, either." </p>
<p>"I like to think of myself as being beyond the archaic labels of male or female," King replied, sticking a declarative finger in the air. "And 'king' is more of a title I've always been given. Queen could be accurate, too, if anyone called me that." His eyes suddenly widened as he gasped. "Do you think Luz still has that tiara from Grom?" </p>
<p>Eda stared down into her apple blood in thought. "So, how do you know that you're... beyond gender, or whatever?" </p>
<p>"Because the King- or Queen- of Demons is beyond all the petty things you mortals call yourselves!" </p>
<p>"Uh huh." Eda sat down on the couch, staring at her lap. As her eyes wandered to her hips and chest and curvy legs, and the thought of Amity wearing male clothes and starting his transition came to mind, an image flashed in Eda's head of herself with shorter hair wearing a red suit with a flat chest, broader shoulders, narrower hips... a man's body. </p>
<p>A bit of apple blood spilled to the floor as she thought of this, and she quickly righted the mug in her hand and pushed the thought away. After a moment, though, she let it return, but replaced the suit with her usual dress and lengthened the hair to the state it was always in. She couldn't help but smile- this alternate version of her looked <i>good.</i> </p>
<p>"Um, what are you smiling about?" King asked, climbing on the couch next to her. </p>
<p>Eda quickly erased the image from her mind once again. "Nothing! None of your business!" </p>
<p>"Okay!" King jumped down from the couch and ran off, leaving Eda alone to think once again. </p>
<p>Was the disconnect Eda felt with her own body really normal? Did Amity, or even Luz, feel that way? Did Amity imagine himself as a man the way Eda just did, and did Luz ever imagine themself as anything? </p>
<p>She shook her head. She was well over forty years old. Most of the people she knew whose gender wasn't what they were assigned at birth figured that out in their teens, or at the very latest, their twenties. What she was feeling was something else, it had to be. That's what she always thought- no, <i>knew-</i> when she felt that way before. </p>
<p>She took a long sip of her apple blood and sighed. <i>Man, this whole gender business that's been going on lately is getting in my head.</i></p>
<hr/>
<p>Several days later, Eda found herself standing outside Luz's door, debating whether or not she should turn the handle. What would she even say when she got in there? How could she bring up what was on her mind? </p>
<p><i>You're being ridiculous anyway,</i> she thought. <i>Just go downstairs and forget about this.</i> </p>
<p>As she was about to do that, the door swung open and Luz walked out with a smile on their face. "Oh, good morning, Eda!" </p>
<p>"Uh, hey, Luz," Eda greeted back, hoping her unease wasn't seeping into her voice. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, judging by the look on her apprentice's face, it definitely was. "Is something wrong? The curse isn't acting up, is it?" </p>
<p>"What? No!" Eda waved her hand. "Nothing's wrong." </p>
<p>"Okay. Well, did you want to talk to me about something?" </p>
<p>Eda hesitated. "Uhhhh, no." </p>
<p>"Then why were you standing by my door?" </p>
<p>"I wasn't standing by your door. I was just passing it when you opened it." </p>
<p>"Oh." Luz shrugged. "It just seemed like you were standing outside of it. And it seems like something's on your mind." </p>
<p>Eda looked away and bit her lip. "Uh, well... I, uh..." </p>
<p>"Yes?" Luz looked back at her. "You can talk to me, Eda." </p>
<p>"Well, between you being non- whatever you humans call it, where you're not a boy or a girl, and Amity being a boy, I've been thinking a lot about all of that stuff." </p>
<p>Luz's eyes immediately sparked with understanding. "You think you might be-" </p>
<p>"I think I might actually be a guy." The words flew out of Eda's mouth with barely any thought, and as soon as she realized she said them, she shook her head and gave Luz a dismissive wave of her hand. "It's stupid. Forget it." </p>
<p>"No, it's not stupid!" Luz quickly chased after her as she walked away. </p>
<p>Eda sighed. "I just figured I'd know by now if it actually meant anything to feel this way." </p>
<p>"No, no, no." Luz quickly shook his head. "There are a lot of people who find out later in life. Some people don't even know until they're even older than you." </p>
<p>"But that's usually dense idiots." </p>
<p>"Eda..." </p>
<p>Eda sighed once again. "I know, that's a bad thing to say. But what I mean is, I know me better than people like that know themselves. I've always known exactly who I was and who I wanted to be. I've known I hated covens and wanted to do all forms of magic since I was first forced into the Potions track by Bumpkins. Heck, I've known I was bisexual since I saw Andreas and Annabelle Ravenstein on the slayground when I was five and crushed on both of them." </p>
<p>She snickered and snorted as she thought of them. "Well, until Andy stole my cookie and Annie called Lilith a nerd. I mean, I called Lilith a nerd all the time, but only I was allowed to do that." She shook her head. "But anyway, my point is, I know myself, and I've always been able to figure these things out for myself pretty dang early." </p>
<p>The two reached the bottom of the stairs and Eda sat on the couch with her arms stretched out on top of it. Luz quickly took a seat next to her. </p>
<p>"Well, have you ever felt this way before?" they asked. </p>
<p>Eda was about to answer with a firm <i>no,</i> but stopped herself and looked up at the ceiling in thought. "I dunno. How do people like that feel?" </p>
<p>Luz shrugged. "It kinda shows up different in everyone. For me, I just always knew that being called a girl- being a girl- didn't really feel quite right. Not quite wrong, either, but not right." </p>
<p>"I mean, it's never felt right for me to be called a woman either, but-" Eda shrugged. "I dunno. I guess I just figured it didn't feel right because it wasn't really supposed to feel 'right' in any way, it just was." </p>
<p>"Well, would you feel better calling yourself a man?" </p>
<p>Eda didn't answer, and didn't respond at all for a long moment. "Um, this sounds really weird, but could you... try it? As in, like, pretend you're talking about me, but talk about me like I'm a guy?" </p>
<p>"Sure!" Luz smiled and faced an imaginary person. "This handsome hunk is my mentor. I've been training with him since I came here. He's funny, super cool, and an all around great guy." </p>
<p>"Handsome hunk, huh?" Eda smiled. "Well, I have to say, that feels way better than what I was expecting. But still, how come it took me this long to realize it?" </p>
<p>"Sometimes, the idea of changing everything about how you present and call yourself can feel weird, even if you know deep down that it's right," replied Luz. "Even when I first heard you call me 'they' and 'he,' I knew it felt right to be called that way, and it felt good, but, y'know, it's just-" they threw their hands in the air dramatically and let them slowly fall back onto the couch- "woooooo! Something weird that's never happened to me before!" </p>
<p>Eda nodded, considering what she said. "I guess that's true. But what about my whole style? When Amity came out to you, the first thing you did was go buy some men's clothes for him and changed up his hair. I mean, I like suits, but I'm not gonna wear boring old men's clothes on a daily basis, or cut my epic hair." She held up the hem of her dress and flipped her hair. "I like the way I dress now." </p>
<p>Luz smirked. "Well, it's kinda sexist and backwards to think that men can't wear dresses or have long hair, isn't it?" </p>
<p>"Well, yea, but-" Eda stopped as Luz's words sank in. "Huh. I guess you're right." </p>
<p>"So, is it official? My mentor, the handsome hunk?" </p>
<p>Eda thought about it for a moment. Her- or, rather, <i>his</i> as <i>he</i> thought it over with excitement- mouth turned upwards into a goofy smile. "Yes. Yes it is." </p>
<p>Luz immediately wrapped his arms around his mentor. "Yes! Yes, yes, yes! Cheers to coming out of the closet!" </p>
<p>Eda laughed and freed one of his arms to hug his apprentice back. "Yep. Wonder how Lily'll feel about having a little brother."</p>
<hr/>
<p>"Wow," Edan said quietly to himself as he looked in the mirror, raising his eyebrows as he heard how deep his voice now was. "That gender transitioning magic works pretty fast." </p>
<p>While he wore the same dress as usual, the top edges of a binder Luz bought for him were slightly visible under it. His shoulders were a bit wider and his hips a bit more narrow, and a bit of stubble was forming on his chin. He pushed the strands of hair that usually hung down by his face back, smiling as he saw more stubble underneath them. </p>
<p>"Amity's gonna love it when he finally gets to do this," he said. <i>I sure do.</i> </p>
<p>After spending enough time fawning over his new appearance, Edan walked down the stairs into the living room to find Luz, Amity, Willow, and Gus sitting on the couch and King sitting in front of them. As Luz smiled proudly, all the others were looking at some painted banners with interest. </p>
<p>"Hey, Luz," he said. "Hey, all of Luz's friends." He looked at Amity and nodded. "And boyfriend. At long last," he mumbled. </p>
<p>"Hey, Edan," Luz greeted back. "I'm happy to introduce to you and everyone else the amazing human item of..." They held up one of the colored banners, this one striped blue, pink, and white in a repeated pattern. "Gigantic pride flags! I made them myself. You can wear these ones as capes." </p>
<p>She threw the "pride flag" over Edan's shoulder, and he saw that Amity was holding a similar one. </p>
<p>"This one's the transgender pride flag," Luz explained. He grabbed another one, this one striped pink, purple, and blue. "And you said you were bi, too, right? Well, here's the bi pride flag." </p>
<p>"Oh, wow," said Edan, looking at the flags his apprentice handed him. "I didn't realize this kinda stuff was so colorful in the human realm." </p>
<p>"It's been fun to learn about all the different ones," Willow said. She had wrapped herself in a pink, yellow, and blue one. </p>
<p>Gus, wrapped in a rainbow flag, nodded. "The world of humans is even cooler than I thought!" </p>
<p>"These ones are mine." Luz held up a flag colored in yellow, white, purple, and black, and another one that looked the same as Edan's "bi pride" flag, and then sat back down on the couch and wrapped their arm around Amity. "I'm working on finding a good one for MLNB, or, um, men and nonbinary people in a relationship, for me and Amity." </p>
<p>"And you made all of these yourself?" asked Edan. To Luz's nod, he added, "Great job, kid." </p>
<p>"I should show you guys all the other pride stuff we do," said Luz. "Pride parades, pride concerts, all of the gay songs on my playlist..." </p>
<p>"That stuff all sounds lame," King whined. "The only parades I like are ones in my honor." </p>
<p>"The concerts sound nice!" Hooty suddenly popped in through the same window he had broken a month earlier. "I can sing one of my own original songs! Ohhhh-" </p>
<p>"No!" Luz, Edan, and King all said at once.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I didn't actually know how to end this, so I just ended it with Hooty being Hooty. Sorry, Hooty.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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